Monday, October 15, 2007

My Amazing and Extraordinary Life

It's been a while since I've had enough down time to let my brain wander. But recently I have begun walking on the paved trails at the Biltmore Estate and that has given my brain the much needed - wandering time - it deserves.

Last Saturday the weather was picture perfect. I started my trek down at the Kitchen Garden and headed toward the lagoon (which is an ideal 4 mile round trip)... as I walked I had an old Duran Duran album playing in my ears - okay, snark if you must, but the back beat on those songs is great for walking! On my way back from the lagoon the song Ordinary World came on, I found a fallen tree and parked myself overlooking the river while the song played. For the first time since the 80's I actually listened to the words of that song...

I turned on the lights, the TV, And the radio
Still I can't escape the ghost of you

What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying
Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away

But I won't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

Well now pride's gone out the window
Cross the rooftops, Run away
Left me in the vacuum of my heart

Papers in the roadside
Tell of suffering and greed
Here today, forgot tomorrow
Ooh, here besides the news
Of holy war and holy need
Ours is just a little sorrowed talk

And I don't cry for yesterday
There's an ordinary world
Somehow I have to find
And as I try to make my way
To the ordinary world
I will learn to survive

Every one, Is my world, I will learn to survive
Any one, Is my world, I will learn to survive

And I realize that I have an amazing wonderful and extraordinary life. It isn't what I had dreamed, planned or expected it to be. That vision of my life is FAR different than the reality I am living. It struck me how UN-ordinary my life had become and how I still struggle with the hope and dream of an ordinary life. But, as I am learning and growing I think this extraordinary life might not be so bad after all. The people I love are healthy, strong and well. The people I have lost, I believe, are in a better place with ones they love as well. I live a realtively quiet life, sure there is some drama I could certainly do without, but on the whole the good things far out-weigh the challenges.

I don't have a lot. But with age (read:wisdom) I have also come to realize that things don't make me happy. I try very hard to be content, though there are times that I would LOVE to have the means to travel and experience new things, that just isn't my life today...but maybe in the future. And that's what I have discovered, my dreams haven't ended, they have simply been put on hold. This isn't my time. I am not the priority I thought I was in my 20's or even 30's. Now is my time to nuture and grow the next generation, until he has his wings - I am tied to the nest. Happily tied, happily giving, happily totally involved in all things "boy".

So not as I could have ever envisioned in my earlier life, the life I have today is far from ordinary and close to my heart in a way I could have never guessed. The ordinary world will be there waiting for me when this part of my journey reaches it's conclusion, so for now I am trying to enjoy the rollercoaster that is my life.

I'm holding on - if I scream, please don't be alarmed. ;)


Professor Howdy said...

There is a time for everything,
a season for every activity
under heaven. A time to be
born and a time to die. A
time to plant and a time to
harvest. A time to kill and
a time to heal. A time to
tear down and a time to
rebuild. A time to cry and
a time to laugh. A time to
grieve and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones
and a time to gather stones.
A time to embrace and a
time to turn away. A time to
search and a time to lose.
A time to keep and a time to
throw away. A time to tear
and a time to mend. A time
to be quiet and a time to
speak up. A time to love
and a time to hate. A time
for war and a time for peace.

Best wishes for continued ascendancy,
Dr. Howdy

P.S. Here's some blogs & videos
that I found of interest as
I negotiated my way through

Every Student
My Blog Video
Religion Comparison
Avoid This Place
Danish Cartoons
Arabic Cartoons
Muhammad or Jesus???
Answering Islam
Is Jesus God?
A Short Look At Six World Religions
God's Word in different languages...
How to become a Christian
Who Is Jesus?
See The Word
Watch The Jesus Movie
Spanish Cartoons
German Cartoons
Chinese Cartoons
Italian Cartoons
Greek Cartoons
Japanese Cartoons
Portuguese Cartoons
Around the Well
French Cartoons
Hindi Cartoons
Russian Cartoons
Little Girl
Get Saved?
You & Sin City
Mysterious Disappearance
Evolution Video
The Departure
You Need To See This
'Thought & Humor'

Tell me sometime what your
thoughts are about all this:O)

Steven and Abner said...

Hi Tootsie. Very poetic stuff compared to my stream of consciousness ramble. I just wish you would either post more often or call for lunch a little more frequently so I can keep up.

August Bounty

August Bounty